2026-02-07

Hello Everynyan. I forgot to mention but i got sum stuff recently. Azumanga Daioh Omnibus, the full dang thing, for like 30 bucks on Amazon. Came in on like, the second. Yesterday I got some pins too!

Today I went on a drive and when I got home I did some drumming and screaming along to metalcore and now my voice is fuuuucked dude. Fun though.

Later today, I might make a large update to the Music tab. I dont like how theres not much there. We'll see. This site isn't even really "public" yet. I also gotta do that.

I additionally intend on adding some new things to the site previous. More on this homepage here, like maybe a commentbox would be cool? So yeah.

For all of yesterday and today, all I've been doing is scrolling aliexpress adding things to my cart. Someday I'll select a small handful of items and order them. They're mostly pins and alike. I am oddly scared of my parents finding this stuff out. There's no reason really but I don't really want them to know I like anime in case they find it cringe. This is also a big mindset that kept me from getting into anime and alike up until last August. School taught me lots of stuff, but the students taught me that if you liked just about anything you get made fun of and bullied. It took be grades 1 through 8 to finally stop getting bullied, and my strategy was to bottle up my feelings and make fun of myself with those trying to insult me, so they get no pleasure from it.

This is not a good strategy though, and I do note how badly that probably screws me over. I struggle to open up to new people, specifically people I meet IRL. How I got my 3 IRL friends is beyond me, but I'm ever so glad. How I have so many online friends and aquaintences is even further beyond me and I feel I don't thank my friends for being there enough. They put up with my weirdness and my lack of being funny and I'm glad people like that are able to be there for me. Whether you're someone I talk with frequently, someone I occasionally speak to, someone supporting my music, or even if your someone in the far future looking back on me after I die or disapear, I thank you.

While writing these few entries so far, I have had the thought of what would life be like after I pass. After I pass, dissapear, quit, anything. I often fantasize of someone comming across my music and looking up to me long after the music is made. I look and have looked up to so many artists that either aren't around anymore, no longer produce, or just not as much. This is why whenever anyone reaches out to me over something like a song of mine, etc, I love to give deep lore drops on the song and my thoughts. I want people to know the fun facts just in case I never get a chance to put them out more-so myself. Who knows what can happen to me?

I should put compilations of my old songs and unreleases. I have many 2022 and 2023 unreleases, and early versions of flthdrt songs, scrapped projects, discontinued projects. B-sides, outtakes. Theres likely ~50 songs from between Bittersweet and Foremind that are unreleased. There is literally 40 outtakes for wheat's Grains Of Pain. Theres so much. I would like to roll things out slowly in the future but I always get scared of what if I dont survive to the end of that future. Lost media is something that intruiges me, and saddens me deeply.

I suppose this is what these blog posts are going to be like. Some about my music, others my ramblings about my deep thoughts. I struggle to get my thoughs out, especially dirrectly person to another person. This could be a good way of getting feelings out there.

2026-02-06

I haven't made a post here in a while, as not much has happened. This 'blog' will likely not be as frequent as it sort of seemed with the first 2 posts being back to back lol!!!

I'm working on the next album! Have a couple songs done, the first two are teased at the MUSIC tab on my site! -w-

I also finished my MIDI Bunny cover which I uploaded a demo of on my Youtube way back, and I uploaded the entirety of my latest album and a early demo of track 8!!

I posted the first demo to my youtube, but someone reported it and it is currently down. I'll let you know if Youtube allows it to be put back up, as it was taken down for Hate Speech, and very well is not. Below is a post I put to my youtube community tab...

"The song title was Kill All Men, but every lyric in the song makes it clear the song is against the Kill All Men movement seen on platforms like TikTok and alike not to long ago. The videos information outside of the audio makes that clear too.

the song is about Misandry becoming normalized as it becomes labeled as Feminism, which it very much is not.

Feminism is belief that women and men are equal, that gender has to factor into worth or skill of any sort. Feminism is NOT believing that women are better than men. That is sexism.

The song speaks on this narrative and it is very clear that the song is against Misandry and sexism as a whole.

Writing all of this because 1, I'm pissed, and 2 youtube's appeal section let's you type only 100 characters. not even 2 full sentences!!! So maybe the person reviewing the video (if human at all) will see this to see further explanation!"

2026-01-30

It's 10:50 but I'm not tired because I took one of my first naps basically so now I'm sort of wide awake, my legs hurt, and I'm realizing I should have written this by now so here I am. Today was the first day of semester two of my school year so yes there IS things I can write about today.

I got music class again, haven't had it since first semester last year so yeah. Let's just ignore I still have school band just about daily...lol. Math class, my teacher walked over to me and noted that my doodles in my sketchbook reminded her of one of her previous students at her old school (this is her first time teaching at my school) and kind of just told me about the girl who used to doodle similar. It was nice though I was kind of shy nervous and stuff cus I wasn't necessarily expecting to be spoken to direct and...well...I'm shy. She said the other student would always leave little doodles on her test pages and asked if I would. I don't always, not because I don't have time after tests, but for I am again, shy! But sometimes I do, and I just briefly replied "sometimes" to her. This kind of inspires me to want to do that more consistent with her class, which is nice.

My history teacher is like...fucking over qualified for every job ever. He has six (maybe more) majors in different subjects, does karate, and does competitive trivia. Plus he just seems like a cool guy, and was saying that the class would be a bit less "remember these names and these things they did" and more actual thinking work rather than simply remembering information. Though no doubt there's going to be SOME memory stuff, its a history class after all.

For music today, I've been mainly listening to Geese and some Willy Rodriguez so yeah, nothing new. When I got home I had a bit of a headache, but in the same breath I drummed for like an hour or two, then I did it again for another hour or two. Then surprisingly enough, at 7pm I had a NAP. I don't remember anytme in recent memory that I've had a full on nap. I slept for 2 hours and woke up just about an hour ago (its 11:02 now) and I'm not fading in and out anymore. Now, I'm just working on the shows page and alike. I've been sitting alone in a call since before my nap and no one has joined so I've just been singing along to some Geese and stuff while pathetically coding.

2026-01-29

Can you believe it? Finally a mild purpose for this damn neocities website? Haha but in all I've sort of thought of doing this for a while, to atleast some extent. Whenever I find a band or artist's old site of any kind and it has some sort of blog it's always the coolest thing. So I thought why not make my own little blog. For whoever wants to hear my rambling, or for some poor sucker in 2040 looking back on my music after I disappear off the face of the internet. (heres a tip, im probably somewhere, just under a new alias!)

Recently been digging into more rare Kaai Yuki stuff. Old and obscure shit. Finding some pretty good stuff too! Some of the tracks I just completely forget about, but some others just wont leave my head. The one ds_8 kaai yuki song is really good. Aparently that person is still on the internet. They still post a few things on twitter from time to time. Though, their last song anywhere on the internet was 2022. Still, better than itsuki_g who dropped off the face of the earth in 2016. Really hope all these random internet artists that disappear off the internet are doing alright. It's always been something a bit weird to me. What are they doing now? Are they still making music under a different alias? Did they just rid the internet from their lives? Did they maybe commit suicide? I don't know. I haven't fully grasped the idea of being able to just disappear like that. It truly sucks because I love to hear more from these people, music wise or even just see that they're still around, doing stuff on occasion.

PinocchioP had a new album I believe, and I should listen to it. I remember I really liked LOVE back in like, early 2025, maybe late 2024. My interest in vocaloid seems to come in waves lol.

Sevendust has a new album coming out in a few months, and the first single for it released right now, as of writing this, so I'm going to give a listen and share my thoughts live!!!!! It's starting off really heavy, maybe a little funky. Production is a bit much compressed but not bad. I like the prechorus. As it seems for most late Sevendust songs, the chorus is melodic, which kind of damages the heaviness shown in verse, but here it has a sort of tone where it does work soooo yeah. The guitar solo is pretty neat. In retrospect, this is a pretty good single. This sets the album to seem pretty good, just about as good as their other recent stuff. Sadly though, that also sets it up to likely be listened to once or twice then entirely forgotten, and I doubt this is going to become one of my favorite albums from them. (My favorite Sevendust albums are 1999's Home, and 2007's Alpha!)

Speaking of things coming out soon, Geese has a live album dropping a month from now. Slerrrp continues to write their upcoming album. Some of their live show set lists include a set of 4 new songs which I can assume are songs from the upcoming album. Sadly, theres no live videos of these sets with the new songs so I cant get a tease of them. I'm also still waiting on Slerrrp to put their self titled album's CD for sale on their page. They sell it at shows but also they are in a different country sooo...yeah. I'm struggling to remember other upcoming albums so if I remember some later today I'll throw them at the bottom of this. If I remember them like, tomorrow or the day after, then I'll put them in those days entries, if I make entries those days. Not sure how frequent this is going to become, though I do intend on doing this consistently and not dropping this.